


hold on to each other

by ifimightchime



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ben Hargreeves Lives, F/M, First Kiss, Minor Allison Hargreeves/Luther Hargreeves, implied Ben Hargreeves/Five Hargreeves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:42:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27158141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifimightchime/pseuds/ifimightchime
Summary: Ben and Allison leave home together. It's better than they ever dreamed, and it's harder than they ever imagined.
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves/Ben Hargreeves
Comments: 6
Kudos: 5





	hold on to each other

Ben knocks on her bedroom door not even a month after they all turn 18, traces of blood still on his face, and says, "I can't do this again."

"I'm already packed," Allison says, because they both knew this was coming, maybe everyone did. Her wants have been bigger than what she can have here for a long time now, and Ben's have always been anything but this. They've both had their reasons for staying and waiting -- but she's run out of ideas on how to show Luther it's time to move on, and the hope that Five will come back has been visibly dying more and more every year.

Neither of them stop to say any goodbyes. Getting a car is easy, when all Allison has to do is tell someone to give her the papers and hand over the keys.

"Are you sure you want to come with me?" she asks before she turns the car on, giving Ben one last chance to change his mind, to go somewhere closer to home, to throw his lot in with someone else.

"I'm sure," he says without hesitating, and she smiles as she slides the key in.

*

Hollywood is easy. Allison just has to say the right words in the right ears, and the jobs start rolling in. They get an apartment just the right size for two people and settle in. Ben finds a job at a bookstore, and he smiles so much now that he doesn't have to unleash the horror that he's unrecognizable from the boy in any pictures taken before. They don't worry about money and nobody tells them what to do with their time. Some days, when Allison isn't on set, Ben calls in sick and they do nothing for an entire day.

Hollywood is harder than she'd ever pictured. Allison tries to get roles the honest way at first, but they don't start coming in until she uses her rumors. Ben still cries at night, and Allison doesn't sleep, until finally they start sharing a bed because it's the only way to get rest. The apartment is too small, and they can't get away from each other; the apartment is too big, and too quiet, and she misses the others, and Mom, and Pogo, and even Dad, sometimes. Neither of them know what to do with their time, with no training and nobody to fight, and sometimes they drift through their free time and look at each other like they're waiting for an order.

She doesn't want to go back, and Ben still looks happier, so far away from Dad's reach. But it's nothing like Allison imagined even when everything goes exactly as she planned, and she doesn't know how to deal with that.

*

Ben still has nightmares, sometimes, even when he's not alone, or twists and turns in his sleep like he's trying to get away from something. Allison wakes up to his flailing limbs smacking into her sometimes, or the sound of his sobs. But at least she's close enough to wake him up now and tell him that she's here.

She's still trying to figure out how to do this, how to soothe the hurt, instead of averting her eyes and playing guard until he can gather himself together, but her clumsy attempts still seem to help. She smooths his hair back and holds him tightly against her and tells him he's okay, and she never whispers, and she never tells him to hold it in. She can give him this, at least. She can remind him in every way possible that it's different now.

It feels natural, pressed up against him in the dark and wiping the tears from his cheeks, to press her mouth to his one night. She's never done this, not really -- one awkward day in front of the cameras, and a couple of almost moments with Luther before someone walked in. But it seems easy enough to work out, and when Ben moves his arm from where it's curled tightly around his stomach to wrap around her instead, it feels like the right move to make.

They fall asleep again tucked in together, mouths so close she can feel his breath against hers, and she wakes him up with another kiss.

"Are you sure it's okay?" she checks when he's awake enough to answer her, looking more relaxed in the soft morning light than he usually does, and Ben smiles.

"I'm sure," he says, and that's all she needs to hear before she moves in again.


End file.
